Fake Academic

I want to tell you all about the detox I’ve subjected myself to: since October, I have chosen to not drink any alcohol, eat any chocolate or consume any soft drink until New Year’s Eve, at which time I will then get incredibly munted on a couple of West Coast Coolers and hopefully renew my detox as a New Year’s resolution. There are several reasons why I am doing this:

• I am too much fun when I drink
• I am actually allergic to chocolate, yet eat it and deal with the side-affects, which is just stupid
• I want to burp less

In Adelaide this year during the annual tournament, I drank my whole body weight worth of Jim Beam and Coke. In cans. Clearly I had hit a new low and I needed to reevaluate why I punish myself so much. Also, I realized that when I start drinking, I will usually drink anything unless it’s Black Douglas. I’m glad that I can still draw the line somewhere.

Anyway, it’ll be eight weeks on Sunday since I’ve consumed any of the above and my friends have now started asking me if I feel better. The answer to this question is no. No, I do not feel any better – I am the designated driver every weekend. Being a drunk is actually cheaper than being the driver, you know? No, I do not feel any better – taking chocolate out of my diet has only made me more determined to find and eat food that is incredibly bad for me. Tutti Frutti Licorice has now made its way to the top of my shopping list. All in all, although my body is probably thanking me for the opportunity to renew itself now that the grog is no longer blocking my supernatural powers, I have discovered that most social functions I attend in my detoxed state require me to pretend that I’m having fun when the pub/club/party is clearly a dud. Why do I even go to these places anymore? Why can’t I have fun without having a drink? I want to find the answer to this question and I believe it might have to involve a prolonged period of refrain from these amazing, consumable items of infinite joy. I might update you again after Christmas.

I did give myself one exception to the rule which was to be the night I celebrated my birthday, but I decided that I didn’t want to do anything to draw attention to myself. Instead, I have opted to attend the work Christmas Party where there will be a plethora of goods available for me to commit detox-suicide and hopefully wake up the next day in a recognisable place. Actually, I lie – I’m not that hard-core – I’m one of those drinkers that still likes to remain somewhat dignified, although I’m sure someone somewhere reading this just spat their coffee all over their keyboard. Sorry, jerk!

As an aside, I never keep New Year’s resolutions and therefore should be back to my normal self come 2010.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I want to be when I grow up, and by this I mean what job do I want to be employed in when I have my mid-life crisis. I’ve been toying with the idea of going back to university to complete my Masters of Research, and then to finally move on to doing my PhD. Of course, this would probably mean quitting my current job, which is incredibly easy and allows me to write self-appreciating blog posts like this one. There is also room for career progression within the organisation, but Medical Education is not really the industry I imagined myself to end up in – I studied Philosophy for Christ’s sake, surely I should be working in a library or something. So, thinking about the above dilemma, I decided further study would be the key to finding the right kind of job where I could utilise the philosophical brain I’ve paid generous amounts of University fees for. While completing my PhD, the plan would be to find a job as a tutor at the university I was studying at to gain extra experience for when I’d finally become a Lecturer at said university. What a plan, right? Awesome! Only another four years of studying to get into a job that I don’t really want, but pays awesome and therefore should probably tick all the boxes! Sigh.

I’ve been applying for every museum and gallery job that I believe I’d be at least thirty percent capable of doing and have been getting nowhere. I have so much voluntary experience but everyone always emphasises that I need more. Then I started offering my services voluntarily and I still haven’t gotten anywhere! Why doesn’t anyone want free help? How ridiculous is that? I’d almost give up hope some days, and then find what I think would be the perfect job, and go ahead and apply, and still be turned down. I understand that I’m not going to be the ideal candidate for every position, but constant rejection is taking its toll. I applied for a couple of jobs over the Christmas period so I could make a few extra dollars, and have already had two interviews – I find out by the end of the week if I’ve been selected for either role. Maybe this is telling me something… anyhow, I figured if I had a casual job already lined up by the time I decided to enrol in my Masters I could always fall back on it and just study full-time. I’m a little scared that I I’ll like receiving discounts on clothing and alcohol a little too much and just keep working in retail until I’m dead. Call me crazy, right?

The optimist in me would try and look at the silver lining of this metaphorically rain-filled cloud: UNI BAR.

I just wanted to talk to you all about a little addiction I have that goes by the name of Sacred. After Diablo and maybe after Starcraft, it’s probably the best computer game I’ve ever played. I was never into Red Alert and etc, as I was more of a fan of RPGs. I remember when I first played Ultima Online with my brother’s account – I thought it was the most awesome gaming experience I had ever had in the whole entire world. I still rate Ultima Online pretty highly, by the way – regardless of how much I enjoy World Of Warcraft. Anyway, Sacred is my current fasciation, and it even has its own Wiki, people! http://www.sacredwiki.org/index.php5/SacredWiki

I came across this little beauty on a random day whilst digging through the cheap basket at my local Electronics Boutique. Does that place just call itself EB Games now? I walked out of there with my boyfriend and my brand new purchase – Sacred for $10 dollars. I had hoped that this game would bring me a substantial amount of pleasure, but obviously my hopes weren’t high. I even remember the aforementioned boyfriend smirking after investigating the contents of my bag: “Ten dollars will NEVER buy you an enjoyable RPG.” Buddy, you were WRONG.

I’ve finished Sacred twice now with a Battle Mage and Dark Elf respectively. There are six characters in total, and I plan to finish the game with all six. Towards the end of the game, you are given the opportunity to export your characters for later use, and once I’ve achieved this with all six characters available, I’ll then download Sacred Plus off the official website so that I can play online. This kind of game takes me back to the Battle.net days of Diablo, where my sister and I would create ‘trading characters’ that held all our unique and rare items and swap them with other people online for our other ‘proper’ characters. It’s such a bad habit, isn’t it? I even stocked up with my Dark Elf and Battle Mage on items appropriate for my future Vampiress or Gladiator. I’m not sure how to find the trade-off loophole just yet, but I’m sure I will.

I’m a big fan of the graphics and the landscapes created in Sacred; it all looks incredibly realistic and the changing landscapes blend quite well. All the control keys are pretty much identical to the Diablo set up, so I was into the keyboard shortcuts very early on. The one thing I don’t really take advantage of is the horse-riding options for the characters – I guess that’s the way I prefer to play, and I like to try and kill everything I can to get my experience up, regardless of whether it’s applicable to the current quest that I’m on. When I finished the game with my Dark Elf, he was exactly 10 levels higher than my Battle Mage was when I completed it the first time – I eventually realised that most of the mini-quests would resurface in different areas to give you a chance to level up further, something I really didn’t take advantage of to its fullest extent when I first completed the game. I also had the option to replay the game in its ‘Silver Edition’, which I think just meant at a higher difficulty. I totally kicked its ass, by the way.

The official website for the game is here: http://eng.sacred-game.com/index.php – and yes, I’m aware that there’s a Sacred 2. Don’t worry, I’m already onto it. After having finished this game twice, I’m still not quite sick of it yet – how awesome is that? The best $10 dollars I have ever spent.

Okay, I’m done being a complete nerd.

I’m registered in the Footy Tipping Competition at work, and we’ve organised a little excursion to the Eels vs. Tigers game tonight at the Sydney Football Stadium. I’m just really going for the pies and beers. We’re trying to get a pub-crawl together but we’ll probably just meet at The Courthouse as usual and drink ourselves into a stupor. The one thing that will annoy me later on is trying to get a train back out west to the Parramatta heartland itself. Drunk on a train is never somewhere that I want to be – especially since I have a seven hour babysitting stint tomorrow with my niece and nephew from eight in the morning. Luckily I’m going out tomorrow night with some friends to eat myself to death at a local pancake place. I love pancakes.

The Annual Croatian Soccer Tournament is getting closer and I’m getting very excited. I’ve already begun studying the maps of Adelaide CBD so I’ll know where I’m going – I have a feeling I’ll be relied upon in this way by a majority of the team. Apparently, my coach thinks I have a “men’s sense of direction”, which I obviously took as an insult, but he assured me that it basically meant that I know how to read a map. Umm, okay? Anyway, we’re staying in a bunch of apartments close to the grounds in North Adelaide, and everything looks like a quick cab ride away. You can catch me and Angela shopping in Rundle Mall any chance that we can get.

Apparently we’ll be getting our jerseys for the tournament soon, too. There was a bit of controversy surrounding these things; a lot of girls were unhappy about the inclusion of our last names on the back of our shirts. Basically, we’d never been a club to do that, due to wanting to be able to recycle jerseys as we wish – but the team has had a core membership for the last four years now so I don’t think it will matter. I guess the only downside is that my surname doesn’t have any cool Croatian letters in it – I suppose my surname will be cheaper to screen-print, then. The other thing that has the girls complaining is the introduction of a pink keeper’s jersey. Hold on, you say – they’re complaining about pink jerseys? The complaint is actually that they want all the jerseys to be pink. I for one am happy to keep the team colours of black and gold as they are, thank you very much. I think it makes us unique in the tournament, since the majority of teams always try to have a combination of the national Croatian football colours. It doesn’t really matter in the end, because our real reason for entering every year is the drinking, travelling and socialising. If you want to be serious about football, then don’t join our club – awesome motto.

My niece rocks.

The nominees for the UK’s Mercury Music Prize have just been released – take a look:

• Bat for Lashes – Two Suns
• Florence & The Machine – Lungs
• Friendly Fires – Friendly Fires
• Kasabian – West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum
• La Roux – La Roux
• The Horrors – Primary Colours
• Glasvegas – Glasvegas
• Led Bib – Sensible Shoes
• Lisa Hannigan – Sea Sew
• Speech Debelle – Speech Therapy
• Sweet Billy Pilgrim – Twice Born Men
• The Invisible – The Invisible

My initial reaction is to have a final showdown between Bat For Lashes, Kasabian, The Horrors and Friendly Fires – but this is mainly because there are a couple of names I have yet to become familiar with on this list. Tonight I plan to trawl through last.fm and listen to a few tracks from the likes of Glasvegas, The Invisible and Sweet Billy Pilgrim so that I can make a more informed decision as to who I think deserves the glory this year. But this award is not without certain amounts of controversy…

A lot of music folk in the UK take a look at the Mercury Music Prize nominations with a grain of salt, and mostly because there will always be the token jazz/contemporary/classical entries that have pretty much no hope of winning. I understand that this stems from some kind of idea of fairness within the nomination process, but are they really being put in there because their records are actually that good? It’s the same with other genres that are being represented in this list – they are always trying to make sure there’s a bit of everything being nominated. I, for one, do not agree that there can only be a maximum of two genuinely good Brit Pop records in any one year – so why should only a couple be nominated? Something else that might be seen as problematic within the Mercury Music Prize nominations stems from the lack of ‘popular’ music within the lists (with the exception of M People winning it in 1994 – what a disaster). This is a problem because a lot of industry types think that the nominations may discriminate against chart-topping artists from the UK purely because of their success aboard. For some reason, this success automatically means that your music is probably crap – and it might be the correct assumption to make, since when does the general population like intelligent and well written music anymore? (Lets take into consideration though that the Spice Girls were once nominated – how the hell did that happen?) Anyhow, clearly this idea is slowly being scraped away, with the inclusion of acts like La Roux (just horrible, really) in the nominations for this year. Seriously, have you heard this chick sing? Each to their own, I guess.

Naturally, I feel the need to get all sentimental at this point – let’s reminisce about the previous winners and nominees!

It took PJ Harvey until her third nomination to bring the award home, and it came for her album Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea in 2001. That was a good record, man. And third time is the charm, right? Not so for Radiohead, who have been nominated 4 times (Thom Yorke got a nod for his solo effort, The Eraser, too) and have never won. For a band like Radiohead, this seems a bit crazy to me, you know? I mean, these guys have got the goods. And then you have a winner like Gomez, who freaking rock my world, who beat out a huge selection of very good albums by some other amazing artists, and even though I love Gomez so much, I still have to feel that there’s a little injustice involved, you know? Of course Bring It On was an amazing record, and it definitely deserved to win, but there was clearly some stiff competition in the nomination pool for that year: Mezzanine by Massive Attack, Urban Hymns by The Verve and This Is Hardcore by Pulp to name a few. Just looking at the nominations list, you could tell that 1998 was an awesome year for British music.

They say that it’s an honour to even get nominated for awards like this, but when the Gorillaz received the call in 2001, they asked for their nomination to be withdrawn. You see, Blur have had several nominations come up in the Mercury Music Prize, and I guess it’s sort of understandable that Damon Albarn (lead singer for Blur and one part mastermind of the Gorillaz) would want that nomination cancelled. Imagine if they had won, but the great Brit Pop outfit Blur were left with nothing? It would be nothing short of a travesty, in my opinion, and probably in Damon’s, who apparently took up creating the Gorillaz as an awesome side-project to his own musical journey and adventure outside of Blur. You don’t want your side-project to win anything that your primary musical vehicle hasn’t, do you understand?

And then there’s Ms Dynamite winning the prize in 2002 for her album A Little Deeper. How did this woman beat out The Streets and Doves for the top spot? Were the judges feeling a little sympathetic that year? Has she even made any more music since? I’m still a little amazed at the result. I think that’s all I have to say about that.

Finally, a whole bunch of musically inclined people got their knickers in a knot in 2005 when Antony and The Johnson’s won for their work I Am a Bird Now. The reason for this was that even though Antony Hegarty was born in the UK, he was now residing and had spent a major part of his life in the US, and some people felt that their win was thus unfair. Namely, the Kaiser Chiefs opened up about it, and then later apologised (the Kaiser Chiefs were nominated in the same year). For anyone who hasn’t heard this album, there is something missing in your life! He does a duet with Boy George – my goodness, probably the most sadistic thing to do on a record – and it’s brilliant. Go out and buy it right now. His voice is ethereal, other worldly and extremely fragile all at once – in a few choice words, truly breathtaking. Also, Julia Kent is part of the band too – man, she used to be in Rasputina!

Jools Holland will be hosting the awards ceremony in September – will this be broadcast on Foxtel? Does anyone know?

Can we talk about the Triple J Hottest 100 Of All Time for a minute?

First of all, I need to clear something up. Were the votes cast based on the songs that had previously made it onto a Triple J Hottest 100 list, or were punters generally voting for their most favourite songs ever? If the latter is the case, we have some serious shit to talk about here.

Let’s look at the top ten:

1. Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit
2. Rage Against the Machine – Killing In The Name Of
3. Jeff Buckley – Hallelujah
4. Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart
5. Radiohead – Paranoid Android
6. Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody
7. Jeff Buckley – Last Goodbye
8. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Under The Bridge
9. Foo Fighters – Everlong
10. Led Zeppelin – Stairway to Heaven

Now look. I have a problem with people voting in a cover of a song as one of the greatest songs of all time. Don’t get me wrong – I really dig Jeff Buckley, and his Dad’s music was awesome too – but I’m worried that most of the kids who voted for ‘Hallelujah’ in the top ten don’t even know who originally wrote and recorded the song, and this saddens me. I think I would have restricted this list in some way by not allowing covers to appear (and yes, I know that would have ruled out Johnny Cash’s rendition of the NIN song ‘Hurt’). I just feel that a cover of a song doesn’t truly represent the artist or songwriter who originally put pen to paper and a list like this further ignores that connection. Of course, if the situation were that Jeff Buckley covered a song written by his father (Tim Buckley), then perhaps the circumstances would be different. Either way, as much as I love Jeff and his rendition of the Leonard Cohen classic, I’m still uncomfortable with it being in the top ten. ‘Last Goodbye’ should clearly be in its place.

On a brighter note, I’m very happy with Rage Against The Machine and Joy Division making the top five. ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ will most likely be my funeral song, and holy crap its amazing. I expected Queen and Led Zeppelin to make it, so there is no argument here on those entries – but how on Earth did Foo Fighters get ahead of ‘Stairway to Heaven’? Obviously, the more conservative music critics forgot to vote that day – I’d assume they’re all probably kicking themselves.

Let’s have a peak at songs 11 to 30:

11. John Lennon – Imagine
12. Oasis – Wonderwall
13. Radiohead – Creep
14. The Verve – Bittersweet Symphony
15. Radiohead – Karma Police
16. Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here
17. Hilltop Hoods – The Nosebleed Section
18. Muse – Knights Of Cydonia
19. Metallica – One
20. White Stripes – Seven Nation Army
21. Powderfinger – These Days
22. Massive Attack – Teardrop
23. Hunters & Collectors – Throw Your Arms Around Me
24. The Beatles – A Day in the Life
25. Pearl Jam – Alive
26. Michael Jackson – Thriller
27. Powderfinger – My Happiness
28. Radiohead – Fake Plastic Trees
29. Pixies – Where Is My Mind?
30. Jimi Hendrix – All Along the Watchtower

Looking at this selection can automatically tell you that this countdown was hosted by an alternative, youth-orientated radio station. Not a lot of young people listen to Michael Jackson (young meaning the listeners that Triple J intends to attract) – but his untimely death cemented ‘Thriller’ into the top thirty. I guess I’d pay that – but purely because of the unbelievable talent that Jackson once harboured, not by personal taste. As a self-confessed Brit Pop tragic, I’m pretty thrilled by the turnout of bands such as Muse, Massive Attack, Radiohead, Oasis, The Verve and plenty more (lower in the list) that make me think that this would be an awesome compilation album to own – but the absolutely best songs of all time? I mean, I can definitely be biased when I want to be, but I don’t see Massive Attack being capable of writing and composing a tune that would be defined by a generation as ‘the best of all time’. It’s a pretty song, though and I love their older stuff, but I’m not convinced that this countdown is for them. I prefer ‘Inertia Creeps’ to ‘Teardrop’ anyway – it’s on the Stigmata soundtrack, and the whole thing was practically put together by Billy Corgan. That basically means that record is awesome.

How do the Hilltop Hoods and the White Stripes even make it onto a list like this? Doesn’t anybody else think that the White Stripes were just a passing phase in our music knowledge, ready to be swallowed up by better stuff to come along? And the Hilltop Hoods – my goodness. I’ll be the first to say that Bliss ‘N Eso are a much better hip-hop/rap group within the Australian urban scene than these guys. At first I thought that maybe there needed to be a token rap or hip-hop song in the count-down to be fair, but why wouldn’t it be a group like Public Enemy or even an artist like KRS-One? I’m pretty unimpressed by these inclusions, but then again, the Hilltop Hoods have won a bunch of awards for their work, and who am I to argue with that sort of reputation?

The Hunters and Collectors totally earned their spot, by the way!

Let’s keep looking down the list:

31. Metallica – Enter Sandman
32. New Order – Blue Monday
33. Silverchair – Tomorrow
34. The Living End – Prisoner Of Society
35. Smashing Pumpkins – 1979
36. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Into My Arms
37. Tool – Stinkfist
38. The Killers – Mr Brightside
39. Pearl Jam – Better Man
40. Nirvana – Come As You Are
41. Michael Jackson – Billie Jean
42. Bloc Party – Banquet
43. The Beach Boys – God Only Knows
44. The Beatles – Hey Jude
45. Queens of the Stone Age – No One Knows
46. Faith No More – Epic
47. John Butler Trio – Betterman
48. Beastie Boys – Sabotage
49. Guns ‘N Roses – Sweet Child O’ Mine
50. Crowded House – Don’t Dream It’s Over

… and that rounds up the top fifty. The Beastie Boys should have had the Hilltop Hoods’ spot, by the way. ‘Sabotage’ is a monster of a song – and the Beastie Boys themselves are an amazing group in their own right. They have what one could call a back catalogue – they’re experienced, you know?

I have no idea what Bloc Party and The Killers think they’re doing appearing in this type of list, but Australians are fickle when it comes to music taste. I can’t believe Guns ‘N Roses rated so low! Once again I’m unimpressed – this time with men my brother’s age that didn’t get online to vote for their favourite rock tunes at the age of seventeen. Faith No More was a surprising inclusion for me, since I didn’t think people could recognise music that good within this kind of company. I can also say that I’m quite pleased by the appearances of Tool and Queens of the Stone Age – another two bands that I rate very highly. But, the question still remains – best of all time?

Now I’m going to let off a little steam, here. ‘Blue Monday’ is quite possibly one of my all time favourite songs – and it only got to number 32? Its ‘Blue Monday’, people! Also covered frequently by good and not-so-good musicians! Also an iconic melody that could, if it were human, be the poster boy for Brit Pop around the world! How is it that a countdown which features a shit load of British bands part of the Brit Pop sub-genre of Alternative Rock has New Order’s ridiculously good ‘Blue Monday’ outside of the top 15? I think I had a seizure when I first read this list. Then I realised I had to be a rational human being in my critique of this thing, since I know that there are people out there who do not like Brit Pop. But surely the song that sowed the seeds of the movement against grunge had to be further up the rankings? I’m appalled with the lot of you, to be honest.

And then there’s Nick Cave. What the fuck, huh? Is only good enough for 36th place? This is just disgusting. He is probably one of the most important Australian singer/songwriters there is, and he can’t get a fucking break, man. Who cares if he had a brain spasm one year and decided to do a duet with Kylie Minogue? You guys are seriously so unforgiving – I’m so shitty about this result.

Let me vent my disappointment some more with the ass end of the list:

51. Smashing Pumpkins – Bullet With Butterfly Wings
52. You Am I – Berlin Chair
53. Pink Floyd – Comfortably Numb
54. The Cure – Close To Me
55. Bob Dylan – Like A Rolling Stone
56. Jeff Buckley – Lover, You Should Have Come Over
57. Tool – Forty Six & 2
58. Daft Punk – Around The World
59. Augie March – One Crowded Hour
60. Johnny Cash – Hurt
61. Blur – Song 2
62. Nine Inch Nails – Closer
63. AC/DC – Thunderstruck
64. Violent Femmes – Blister in the Sun
65. Underworld – Born Slippy
66. Elton John – Tiny Dancer
67. Ben Folds Five – Brick
68. Blink 182 – Dammit
69. Jeff Buckley – Grace
70. The Prodigy – Breathe

Daft Punk have apparently produced one of the best songs of all time – who would have thought? Even Blink 182 has had a go. Seriously, people, I can understand that you may like this music – hell, I like it too, but do you really believe these songs constitute the best ever songs that have been written of all time? Since Triple J first aired? It’s now starting to become a fucking joke. Apparently there were 13,000 songs to choose from – and you choose Blink 182? I just puked a little inside my mouth, I really did.

It was nice to see Bob Dylan in there, but again it was surprising, since not many hipsters actually listen to this legend, do they? And Underworld! I haven’t heard that song since I used to go to raves in High School (I can’t believe I just admitted that). It’s a pretty awesome track, but again, I’m still asking that one question. Is this list just trying to be politically correct in a musical sense? You know, represent every genre and blah blah blah. Some genres DO NOT deserve a song in the Hottest 100 List. Why do we have to be so diplomatic about these things?

With regards to Blur, I’d like to think I’m a bit of an expert on the subject, and I don’t think that ‘Song 2’ is their best track. Obviously it is probably their most commercial and popular, but I think I’d prefer to see ‘Coffee and TV’ in there, instead of ‘Song 2’ – if we’re going to choose songs that were remotely popular with the Triple J faithful, that is (please don’t count me as one). The Cure make a lovely appearance at number 54, and I think that’s pretty accurate – but once again, perhaps another song. There is a whole lot more I could say about this section of the list, because it is so messed up, but I have to get through the rest of the damn thing.

Next bunch:

71. The Smiths – How Soon Is Now?
72. The Shins – New Slang
73. The Clash – London Calling
74. Nirvana – Lithium
75. Green Day – Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
76. The Stone Roses – Fools Gold
77. Gotye – Hearts A Mess
78. Smashing Pumpkins – Today
79. David Bowie – Life on Mars
80. The Rolling Stones – Paint It Black

The fact that David Bowie only made it onto the list this far down boggles the mind. I’m a little dumbfounded, too. That’s hard to do you know, dumbfound me. Number 79 just doesn’t sound right next to Bowie’s name, and unfortunately it is his only appearance in the list. DAVID FREAKING BOWIE, MAN. I just shouted at my computer monitor. The list of travesties being committed by the voters of Triple J’s Hottest 100’s is getting longer and longer. I’m also starting to hug myself a lot and rock in my chair.

Now, the reason this Green Day song made it onto our little list here is probably because it’s everyone’s High School graduation song – right? Everyone cried or got emotional when they left school and this tune was playing in the background – which means that the oldies (like me) finally got off their backsides and voted for something. It’s a pity it was this, though. I don’t even want to talk about how they got ahead of David Bowie.

On a side note, The Smiths are the best band ever.

To the final twenty:

81. Pulp – Common People
82. System Of A Down – Chop Suey!
83. Placebo – Every You Every Me
84. Bob Marley & The Wailers – No Woman, No Cry
85. The Dandy Warhols – Bohemian Like You
86. The Beatles – Come Together
87. Coldplay – Yellow
88. The Rolling Stones – Gimme Shelter
89. Rage Against the Machine – Bulls On Parade
90. Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire
91. AC/DC – Back In Black
92. Bon Iver – Skinny Love
93. Massive Attack – Unfinished Sympathy
94. Modest Mouse – Float On
95. Stevie Wonder – Superstition
96. Daft Punk – One More Time
97. Midnight Oil – Beds Are Burning
98. Led Zeppelin – Kashmir
99. TV on the Radio – Wolf Like Me
100. Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out

I feel like a total asshole saying this, but half of the songs that I genuinely like on this list clearly do not belong here. ‘Chop Suey’? Come off it. Franz Ferdinand? You are really pulling my leg here. I don’t actually think the last twenty songs on this list need any more critique, because they pretty much speak for themselves. It’s obvious that everyone got pretty tired after having to vote for the eightieth song, so they just sort of nodded off while their mouse hand kept working. It’s bound to happen in a countdown such as this.

So there you have it – the most average, albeit disappointing Triple J Hottest 100 list ever, and its supposed to be the ‘best of’. It had a lot to live up to, and while I appreciate that many of my favourite bands made the list, I don’t think the cool kids have the capacity to really beef up a ‘best of all time’ list with quality tracks. All the neon they have been wearing is clearly messing with their musical taste and preferences, hah.

Radio is so disappointing these days.

I present to you: Emile Hirsch. Handsomeness personified.